The Vow December 16

On the last night of the longest one of a kind, on Yule’s sacred night she went to her father's’ house, where angels sang so beautifully. And so she sang with them, from all her heart. She sang for him, for she finally understood the purest version of love. The love that is wishing the other person to be happy, even though there is no place in the future for their love to evolve how it should be between a man and a woman.  She sang for all the souls on the planet suffering and going through hardships. She sang for the ill ones, for the abandoned ones and for those who are lonely. She cried on the way back home, completely giving up and letting go of what her heart desired. The only thing she wished for, was for him to find his happiness in his choice and never look back at what kind of miracle could have happened.

When she finally finished mourning her love, she turned to her gods and vowed to live her life according to the mission she was assigned for. The mission she had the gift for being born to find and walk the way of this unique path. For she had nothing left to lose. 

I met a Na'vi August 15

I met a Na'vi. He's got beautiful sad blue eyes and a heart that carries too much.

He helped me to put back things into the right perspective, about myself and my life. I was dazzling next to him. The things he was saying were the things I was saying to other people, for example about me constantly enjoying hedonistic happiness.

The symbol he had tattooed on his chest was the symbol of my awakening.

I know that it doesn't always happen between two people simultaneously. Maybe for him, the whole being with me was different, maybe for his own pain / lack of confidence he could not see what I saw in him.

But for me, it was about meeting my own kind, sharing who I really am, being myself and being open about myself. It gave me back the hope of finding more people like me. I really need more people in my life who are aware, or awakened.

The last thing I told him, I said it to myself too. 'You are very special and you need to know it every second. You need to know who you are. And for this, you need to love yourself so much'. This message layered deep inside my understanding.

When we had sex it was like having sex with myself. His hair, his skin and his touch was so similar to mine. Very soft, gentle and caring just like I am. He was not afraid of showing his tenderness. It made me realise, that I am when I am in intimate situations. I told him that night 'I love you, I love your soul'. And I meant it with all me, my body, my soul, my aura. It was a very profound experience for me. I realised how much we don't say it to each other, because of what it means in the social, linguistic contest, it has a heavy weight when it should be so light, because the word, the meaning of it so bright.

I was really thankful to God for meeting him. On the whole, these few weeks were incredible for meeting with so many people, having those wonderful moments, including the holidays spent with my girl friend M. I'm very grateful that my paths crossed with these beautiful people. If my life was like this all the time, I would be the happiest person in the world.

'What are you feeling right now?' I asked him in the moment.

'Happiness' he replied. 'Your presence is very calming'. I know this, that's how people feel when I am myself, when I radiate this healing energy, when I'm being myself.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

What is Life about February 2

It came to me today, that life will never be perfect, we will never be happy.

We will always chase something better than this moment. Something bigger, brighter, more interesting. It will all disappear, in one moment it will go just as it came.

Too much of the responsibility our happiness is.

Because we don't own our life, it belongs to the time. The only tiny little thing we have is this moment. This is what makes it so painfully beautiful. We are warriors against the time. The time when we grow up, we grow wiser, our parents die, our friends die and our life flies away in front of our miserable consciousness.

We are constantly moving miniature atoms. We don't belong to anything, we are only driven by our desire to be happy. By the energy of the universe we are forced from one places to another one, these will shape us, make us stronger. But there will be never a moment when we feel, this is it. It's a complete enlightenment, an illumination to its fullest. We'll be always just trying to pursue that image of perfection.